Who remembers passing notes in school when they were kids? I do, I do!!!
Yes, I was that kid! And let me tell you I was great at it. OK, not really… I got caught all the time. Also, I learned that even if you do not sign it with your real name the teacher will know it was you.
Well, today something similar happened at home. The 13 yr got caught red handed by her dad! Yep, she walked right into this argument…
So, it all started when we hollered for all the kids to go bed at their normal bedtime and she walks up to give dad a hug and kiss with her hand in her pocket. Dad asked, “Honey, what’s in your hand?” Her response sends me right back to middle school, “It’s just my notes for class.” Ya, right, NOT! We asked her about 10 times to hand it over and she wouldn’t hand it over. Oh my goodness, it took every ounce of will power not to burst out laughing because I knew exactly what it was. After she failed at convincing us that it was school stuff she handed it over and sure enough it was a note she had written to a boy… Oh ya, 13 yr old hormones are all over this note.
How do you handle this as a parent? I was inclined to be upset that she LIED and worked so hard at keeping this a secret but honestly, I was more amused at myself for not being mad. I remember being a teenage girl trying to find my way around a new school and making new friends. That age is tough to handle. It’s still not OK to lie to your parents.
I must say that I’m very proud at the hubs too for being so calm through this whole thing. This is his baby girl and she is growing up. And, let’s be honest, kids lie. Even the most honest good kids lie sometimes. No, it’s not OK, but it happens. It’s our job as parents to teach our kids that lying gets us in more trouble than its worth. Case in point, we were not angry that she was writing to a boy which is what she thought she would get in trouble for, we were angry that she tried so hard to hide it from us. If she had just told us what was in her hand the conversation would have gone much easier on everyone. She instead lost her laptop for the night, all due to silly little details.
Some folks may think that we should just have let it go and not made a big deal about it. We on the other hand hope that this will instill values in her that will make her a better adult in the future. Seriously, I blame my parents for me feeling guilty about calling into work and lying to my boss that I’m sick, they are the reason I just don’t do that. And even when I am home sick I still end up working because I feel bad blowing off my responsibilities. Long story short, lying is bad. Don’t do it.
Don’t forget…Be kind to your kids, even when chaos erupts. You were once a kid too.